So what is Motivational Interviewing?

Have you ever tried to convince a child or teen to want to change a behavior and found yourself stuck in a tug-of-war? Whether it’s a student who avoids homework, a teen who shrugs at every suggestion, or a child struggling with self-control, you’ve probably noticed that change rarely happens just because we tell kids what to do.

That’s where Motivational Interviewing (MI) comes in.

So, What Is Motivational Interviewing?

Motivational Interviewing is a conversation style that helps people explore their own reasons for change. It’s grounded in empathy, curiosity, and respect. Rather than giving advice or trying to “fix” someone. MI helps people talk through what they want, what might be holding them back, and what steps feel right for them.

Think of it like this: instead of pushing someone toward change, MI invites us to walk alongside them and help them discover their own motivation for change.

In practice, MI uses tools like:

• Open-ended questions (to invite reflection)

• Affirmations (to build confidence)

• Reflections (to show understanding)

• Summaries (to tie it all together)

This approach, often summed up by the acronym OARS, helps kids feel heard and supported rather than pressured or judged.

Why It Works:

1. It builds trust and connection.

Kids and teens are far more likely to open up when they feel understood, not lectured. MI strengthens relationships by creating a safe, nonjudgmental space for honest conversations.

2. It helps kids take ownership.

When young people identify their own goals and reasons for change, they’re more committed to following through. They’re not just complying- they’re choosing.

3. It supports emotional regulation.

MI conversations help kids name their feelings, notice ambivalence (“I kind of want to, but also don’t”), and learn that it’s okay to have mixed emotions while figuring things out.

4. It fosters critical thinking and problem-solving.

By asking curious, open-ended questions, adults help kids explore cause and effect, recognize barriers, and brainstorm solutions that make sense to them.

5. It empowers educators and parents.

For teachers, counselors, and parents alike, MI turns difficult conversations into opportunities for collaboration. Instead of feeling frustrated by resistance, you learn to work with it.

What It Looks Like in Action

A student says, “I hate reading.”

Instead of responding with, “But reading is important!” an MI-informed approach might sound like:

“It sounds like reading hasn’t felt enjoyable for you. What makes it tough?”

Or with a teen who says, “I don’t care about my grades,” you might reflect:

“It sounds like school feels overwhelming right now.”

These small shifts- listening instead of correcting, can open the door to deeper insight and internal motivation.

Why It Matters

At its core, Motivational Interviewing honors a simple truth: every child wants to do well, and every behavior has a reason behind it. When adults approach kids with empathy, curiosity, and belief in their capacity to grow, we move from power struggles to partnership.

Whether you’re a parent at the dinner table, a teacher in the classroom, or a school counselor helping a student navigate challenges- MI is a reminder that meaningful change starts with meaningful conversation.